Thursday, June 23, 2011

Where there's a will, there's a way...

Don't doubt me for second. If I have my mind set, it's happening.
Okay, that makes me sound a little...controlling. Let's try again.

When a girl has to pee, she has to pee. A bladder can only hold so much, for so long....ya know?

Picture this:
A crippled, helpless beauty (like that?). Stranded on the couch, unable to walk. After drinking much H2O in her efforts to counter act the poisonous pill popping she needed to pee. Badly.

Meanwhile two bedrooms and a conference call away worked her handsome professional arguer (how 'bout that?) deep into important conversation.....In other words, it wasn't a good time to take me to the loo.

Did I mention he has to CARRY me to and fro? It's a mixture of humiliating and (admittedly) damsel-in-distress-esk.

Back to the full bladder.

After much waiting, leg crossing and uncrossing, and attempted distraction I decided to take matters into my own hands.

Supplies: Pillow, hideous black velcro shoes that protect my recently cut open tootsies
Plan: lower myself off of the couch, scoot my way across the small patch of carpet to the kitchen tile, place myself on the pillow and slide/scoot my way through the house to the bathroom.
Estimated Time: as fast as possible before I pee my pants

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Although I did get scolded by Chris & was told he would be happy to put them on hold so I don't risk hurting myself (awww!). I am still patting myself on the back, I have officially confirmed I can survive in the wild.



Audrey Crisp said...

Oh my heck how sucky! I hope you have lots of good magazines and movies!! Feel better soon!

Amy said...

L.O.L. as of this post you have ratcheted up to the top of the list of my most favorite people. Best post, seriously. Love all the descriptions, love how you write. And seriously, your poor feet, I hope they heal WAAAAAAaay ridiculously fast.

The Alvords said...

Hahahaha, you are so cute. I wish I was there to see this.

Trevor and Shelby said...

Haha Mari you are so great! And a "helpless" beauty you are no more :)

Lexi said...

Oh my gosh that does not sound fun, Im so sorry you have had to go through this twice! :( I hope you have a fast recovery!

The Pettit Family said...

I love it! - today was the first day that I was able to get up by myself too -surgery makes a girl innovative for sure.