Thursday, September 15, 2011

the Greek

Last night I attended the Fleet Foxes & the Walkmen concert at the Greek theater @Griffith Park in the heart of LA.  Originally I invited my sexy spouse to join me, but alas he was unable to join so I made other plans with some lovelies. 
I had never been to a show at the Greek, and let me tell you...Wow. GORGEOUS. I cannot wait to attend another show there, it was incredible. 
The two bands performed their hearts out and it was amazing. I was able to go with my fav girls...Jackie (super spaztic amazing) and we met up with Lauren & Meg. Those girls are simply the best. During the show the air felt crisp and the stars were out....made me so unbelievably home-sick. Gosh, this time of year I sure do get the autumn-blues. During the concert, while the oh-so-lovely music was filling the air and the setting was just right I took a long deep breath and reminded myself that my life is pretty incredible. Trails and all. It was perfect timing after the disaster day before. Gotta love the way things work out like that. <3

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


Today i am feeling a I often hesitate blogging on days like today because I don't want it to be A) an invitation for "I can solve your problems with X, Y, & Z"....or    B) a pity party. I think it's fair to want to write about things going on in my life without people assuming that's what my intentions are. Sometimes a girl just has to vent. Ya know?

i have this hole, a hole which used to be small but is now getting bigger
i try to fill this hole with things that distract, work, hobbies...but no matter what I do, the hole remains.
i don't like it when people assume/comment on the things I do to try fill my hole..but I guess they may not know that I'm trying to fill a hole.  I just don't like when they just assume.

there are days when it doesn't hurt so much and days when it does
there are days when I think I can live with it and days when I want to give up

people try to talk to me about it. sometimes it helps.
most of the time it doesn't.
I do my very best to ignore this big, giant hole...
but like the elephant in the room, ignoring it doesn't make it go away.

I consider myself a very happy person but this silly hole has made me feel sad, unmotivated, and irritable...sometimes even depressed. I hate that it's doing that. I hate that I'm letting it. I hate that I have no control.

most days I do okay. today isn't one of those days. (which usually means I go straight to retail therapy...not a good reaction!!)

Anyway, other than feeling off and venting about what a mess I am, things are relatively unaltered 'round these parts. Same old same! We recently found out that Christopher's work life is only going to get busier for the remaining months of 2011 (can we say trial-crazed-mayhem?) And thus my life of single wife-hood will return. (although I know much more respectable and admirable ladies who deal with the SWL  24/7 and handle it better than me! (ahem SabrinaLaurenKatieetc) I will have to reach out to them in moments of oh-my-gosh-I'm-going-to-kill-you to help level myself out again ha!)

Amongst all of this I must say that I am truly grateful for my faith, as it has been the only source of comfort during these challenges. I am reminded that there are others who face harder things and have bigger holes to fill. Although it doesn't make it easier for me, I am humbled and found counting my blessings. I only hope to continue to grow through this (and to survive it, because today I feel like I most certainly will not). :(

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Love & Marriage

 Today (Sept 2nd) is our anniversary! I cannot believe it has already been five years. Where has the time gone? We have had our ups & our downs. We have had our arguments, our trials, and our adventures. We have survived a lot and have grown together more than we could have imagined. And although there are bad days, the good days far outweigh the bad ones....and the great days erase them completely.
 All in all, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

"I’ll follow you into the park, through the jungle, through the dark
Girl, I’ve never loved one like you

Moats & boats & waterfalls, alley ways & pay phone calls
I’ve been everywhere with you

That’s true

We laugh until we think we’ll die, barefoot on a summer night
Nothin’ new is sweeter than with you

And in the sticks we’re running free like it’s only you and me
Geez, you’re something to see."

Happy 5 Years Christopher. I love you!