18wks 5days...

Pregnancy has made my mind an interesting place. Imagine lots of fluffy clouds that make everything difficult to see or decipher...yes, that is my current state of mind. Beautiful-blissful-confusion.

I forget EVERYTHING.
I can't seem to focus for more than 5min at a time.

And on a note that very well could be unrelated but I like to also blame on pregnancy...My vision is blurry! No joke. Not always, but let's just say Chris & I have a new game of "Mari guess the hymn number" in church and I frequently lose.

Other Pregnancy Happenings....
(I realize much of this may not interest you, but for the purpose of documentation because with my foggy brain I may not recall all of the details!)

-I currently have 2pairs of jeans that still fit. The rest have graduated into the "rubber band" stage. Let's see how long this lasts!

-I have found that having bigger (it's all relative depending on your starting point!) boobs has not made me feel sexy, more attractive, etc....and I feel sort of jipped! (real word? spelled wrong?)
*note Chris sure disagrees! 

-I have come to the conclusion that I have been blessed with all of the horrid side effects of pregnancy (all of you hair thickening, skin clearing, sex-kitten preggers wouldn't understand)...and this blessing can only mean one thing...MY CHILD WILL BE PERFECT! (sigh...if only that were the trade off)

-I officially retired from Anthropologie as of Friday. After much thought and discussion, the decision was made. Time to focus on the pregnancy, my family and enjoy a few months of taking it easy before my life of selfishness officially ends.

-I use phrases like "I'm on the verge of an unwanted purge" when feeling particularly rumbly in the tumbly. Most of the time, the purge never came. I just felt like it is going to come ALL OF THE TIME! The nauseated phase isn't 100% over, but I'm past the worst of it. I would say this pregnancy, weeks 7-17 were the killers.

-Most importantly, I have become the biggest pillow hog of all time. I bought myself a body pillow, I use 3 others in addition to the body pillow too! Getting comfy is tricky business while growing a human being!

it's a BOY!

We are THRILLED!!! (and admittedly, slightly terrified! haha) This just got SO real!

Letting it all sink in

I'm in a bit of shock still.

I have been thinking about the road we have taken to get to this place a lot lately.  And I have to say, infertility is hard. We each have our own battles & some are easier to withstand than others. But goodness gracious I cannot say how absolutely heartbreaking the past 3 years have been for me.

In many ways, I am lucky. I have known others to have struggled much longer than we have & some of them never had success. I won't ever forget that. When I think about how awful I felt with the big dark hole eating away at me, I can't imagine enduring it for as long as so many have to.

So, here I am, still in shock. After 12.5weeks I am still nervous to believe it.

"I'm positive???....(long pause) Are you sure?"--that is the last thing I remember saying to the nurse when she called with my results. I was home alone, sitting on the couch when I received the call. Chris was on his way home from a work trip in NYC. I probably sat on my couch for 15-20minutes in utter silence. I had spent the past 3 years gearing up each month for what the next steps would be, having the "right" attitude, and trying my best to stay optimistic. My entire focus had been on survival...I wasn't prepared for good news, especially not that good of news!

Life NEVER happens the way we plan it to. At least not for us. To be completely honest, it makes me crazy! I am a bit of a planner and all of the "why's" and never knowing made me nuts. Through this trial I have come to know myself much better. I have grown and stretched my limits in ways I never knew I would have to. And although Chris has been a very loving and supportive partner throughout this process, in so many ways it has been a very personal battle for both of us.  Through the many different steps we had to take, different methods & multiple attempts at those methods, doctors we had to see, and hormones I had to take we finally made it.

I am not sure when I will actually allow myself to fully embrace and believe it. I am terrified something will go wrong. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't seem to help it. It's not that I am negative but more that I am afraid of the heartbreak coming back. I never ever ever want to feel like that again.

My heart is being put back together & I am feeling so grateful. Each week I allow myself to get more & more excited (and hopeful that the nausea will go away!). Good things do happen. Prayers do get answered. Maybe not in the ways we plan or expect or even want. But they do.

I still can't believe I'm going to be a mother. Somebody pinch me!

Baby Bump

Today I started to think about how 90% of my wardrobe will not work for a pregnant body...Although I am not showing yet I couldn't help but start looking around at clothes that would work for my ever growing mid-section.

Plus, I really love clothes. So it was an excuse to start getting excited for the stage when I start really showing! Since the majority of my pregnancy will be in the winter (hallelujah!) I decided to look around at some of my favorite stores for clothes that would work for the wintery months. I am trying (if I can help it) to avoid buying "maternity" clothes so I am trying to find options that will work before and after. These are a few loves that I've found so far, can you picture me in them with my baby bump??

                                                    

Because pregnancy and baby are all I can ever seem to think about right now, I am pretty sure this won't be the only post on this subject! :) Also, any pregnancy tips you have for me please share! I am a first timer who has a huge wealth of knowledge within her family & friends...so, spill it!

Baby! Baby! Baby!

CHRIS & I ARE THRILLED TO ANNOUNCE WE ARE EXPECTING OUR FIRST CHILD!!!! After battling infertility for almost 3yrs we are beyond blessed and grateful !! At times it still does not feel real, but now that the first trimester is over we are starting to really believe it :) My due date is April 2nd.

In addition to our announcement, we wanted to say THANK YOU to our loving and supportive friends and family. Throughout this long & difficult process they have been nothing but amazing. Struggling through this has not been easy and many times we (let's be honest, ME) have not been quite ourselves. Thank you for your patience! We feel so grateful for all of the prayers, fasts, and well wishes sent our way over these past few years and know that this special blessing wouldn't have happened without all of you. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts, we love you all so much!

AND YAY FOR A BABY!!!!!!

A dishes dilemma!

I have been looking to purchase new dishes for us & am finding myself in a bit of a dilemma. 

Do I go classic, clean, and keep the dishes universal & all white? They will go with everything, be timeless, and have a fresh feeling about them. 

OR

 Do I got eclectic? Mix and match? Get colorful plates from anthropologie & pretty colored glasses?

I have never been super confident when it came to decorating, I am just not a home-decor-guru like many of you. (I can think of at least 10 close friends/family off the top of my head who are excellent at it!) I get nervous, usually decide & then regret my choice after it's too late. AH! I may also add I am terrible at making decisions. True story.

Also, which of these mug styles is your favorite? I want to have a set of 8 mugs but am torn whether or not to have a matching set or mix it up. Opinions please!!

A sickness post.

I'd rather be at work right now.

True story.

Because if I were at work, that would mean I was feeling normal. Healthy. Energetic.

However, since I did throw up and now feel like dying or that I may throw up again at any moment (which is basically the same thing for me). And since I am not at work, helping people share my Anthropologie addiction, I lie here in agony. 

Today Chris is off shooting. It's a million degrees outside & he is choosing to go outside (inland no less!) and shoot rifles all day with Patrick (our recent RM from Argentina who will be heading back to the land of dry heat in a week to go back to school). Anyway-WHY would someone choose to be in this awful heat? Plus it's shooting....well, let's not get me started on how I feel about THAT subject.

Back to the heat. Sure, I live in Newport Beach....sure it's only 82degrees and I can feel the ocean breeze. But to US these are HOT times! Terrible times! I am not the only one, many anthro-holics and friends have been complaining about this heat too. The worst part is that we do not have AC..because "one doesn't need it at the beach". Lies I tell you, lies. In my efforts to cool-the-freak-down and rid myself of the feeling of barfing and choking I have been coming up with very interesting outfits once I walk through that door.  

Step 1- Strip (bra always first, always) 

Step 2-wash my face 

Step 3- Consider whether or not I should redress myself 

Step 4-Opt out of getting dressed again, instead throw on one of Chris' tshirts and wander the house in this glorious get up. 

When Chris walks in the door all he says now is, "I see this outfit is going to become a regular thing".

My reply, "I'm so HOT!!!" (not sexy hot, temperature hot...thought I'd clarify in case you missed that)

You should really pop by one day & see it. It's a real treat. (I would actually die if anyone saw me like this, cuz it's pretty embarrassing) 

And for the record, it's probably 100degrees where he is shooting guns with his brother. BLEH!
....

Here I lie, in my fav outfit (which I'm sure he wouldn't mind if it didn't mean using up all of his tshirts) in my bed, ginger-ale & cracker stash an arms length away.  And although I want to die or at least cry right now, I am just hoping this will pass quickly because I am not a fan of a queasy tummy. (really, what is worse?)

And all my sick & hot drama aside, look how cute:

This cute little vintage number on Etsy sure is calling my name. I think with my hair braided into a crown and some sort of gold pendant necklace...Yes, I think so!

Summer is winding down...

I just got back from a quick trip back home to Utah. It is always fun to see my growing family & see those beautiful mountains again! I hiked the Y with some friends, played games with the family, ate way too much food, swam, napped, and laughed til I cried anytime my brothers were in the room. We were also all glued to the Olympics all weekend! GO USA! I wish I would have snapped more photos...here are the few I did manage:

 (this last pic was taken in my parents backyard-we always had to pick these grapes each October and my mom would make homemade grape juice.....when I saw these vines it brought back all of those memories!)

Just before I hopped on a plane to see mi familia, the boss and I took a drive from the OC to the big LA to bid farewell to a certain handsome guy heading down south to serve for 2 years.

I cried. Of course I cried. Luke is the little brother I never had!! He is going to be incredible & come back even cooler than he is now! Good Luck in Argentina Luke Nathaniel Spiker! We love you!!

I can't believe it's August! Our summer went by in a flash! The one bonus to this is that there will FINALLY BE PARKING!!! We love that you all love the beach and everything...but holy H you make our lives not-so-fun everyday when we get home from work & you've taken up every last inch of parking available. (see! people who live at the beach have problems too!)

PS:
You should visit this shop: LAONATO Cute, dainty metal jewels for such a good deal! I'm eyeing these lovelies.

We will make beautiful people

Oh yes, this is what it looks like. A Chris & Mari combo. The mustache one is just creepy!!!

Unplanned Internet Fast

I was/am/may still be MIA from Facebook, Pinterest, Blogs, Internet & Computers in general....Not sure why (seriously, not particular reason other than I lost the desire) but today I was sad I hadn't kept up on my blog (since it's such a great way to keep a record to look back on over the years). Hopefully I can actually make time for it now that my life is a bit less chaotic (ha!). A girl can hope, right?

And in case you missed my random lists (and posts) I thought I'd inform you of the things I have learned recently....

-In the battle between having a clean house & sleep: sleep wins
-A lot of people don't agree with me (....I'm still shocked)
-Im increasingly less productive as time goes on
-I once considered myself a fairly 'creative' person....then I started working at Anthropologie and was aware I was wrong (oh so very very wrong)
-Chris only likes to make the bed right before bed at night and not in the morning. And it makes me want to pluck my eyes out
-Never stray from a sure thing. A new mascara can ruin your life.
-5mile runs after 14hr work days are a recipe for disaster
-Eating ice cream from the carton is much more enjoyable when using a hot pad
-$18 movie tickets are normal in Newport but not anywhere else
-I should hire a laundry service cuz I really suck at it
-In the battle between anything & sleep: sleep wins
-My new Go-To Phrase is "Love It" and I hate it
-When I say I'm going to buy groceries "this week" it's probably not going to happen
-Chris hates when I spend money (yes, I just recently learned this...)
-The term "slutty meal" to describe terrible food choices has been the #1 most useful thing I have learned this summer
-Chris gets in shape fast. Looks better faster. And is generally more cute than I am on a regular basis. (I am not sure why I wasn't aware of this before....)

On a separate note....if you haven't seen Moonrise Kingdom, you must. Best movie I've seen all year.

TTFN Suckas.
-M.

Start off 2012 Right!

 I think it's safe to say that January can be summed up with the following words:

Juicing, Clothing, Working, Running, Sunsets, Beach, Friends, and Food.

We started juicing & making green smoothies and LOVE it. I finished Physical Therapy (what!) and was cleared to start running (eek!). Chris started running (double eeek what!) once or twice a week with me. We both work way too much, but Feb has been way worse than January as far as that goes. We obviously eat a LOT and I obviously like clothing a LOT. We also started and are now caught up with the series 'Downton Abbey' (loooooove!), bought airfare for Hawaii in May, and bought sweet new iPhone covers--Like I said, we know how to start the year off right!